Natalia was born bred in Barnaul in Russia (South of Siberia). She was brought up in a traditional family where there was a huge emphasis on being perfect and looking good. It’s just a part of the culture. Expressions like “what will the neighbours think”, “why can’t you be like that other child” and “make sure others come first” are very common. This culture makes it really hard to get to know who you are because you’re constantly concerned about what others think about you. Natalia later went on to study law for 5 years. “My dad told me I wouldn’t be able to get in the law school – so I had to do it.”
Natalia’s conditioning from her mother was around relationships. “Without a man you are nothing” she used to say. You can only imagine how the dating game went, she continuously attracted relationships full of drama and not much appreciation. As an example, one of Natalia’s ex’s was a professional skydiver. She looked after him when he had a serious back injury and couldn’t walk for 6 months. As soon as he had recovered he left.
At the age of 24, Natalia moved to Australia to “Study HR”. “I can reflect now and see I was looking for a way to get away from the cultural pressure & upbringing (critical parents included). I wanted to do something more people orientated – as I was always leaning towards people in my life.” Natalia was searching for something that truly aligned with her while also trying different industries like hospitality but nothing seemed to completely resonate. She also continued on her personal development journey looking for answers.
After another dramatic break up Natalia came across Kinesiology. “That first experience was mind blowing! The practitioner summarised exactly all the things I was struggling with by just testing my muscles and reading my body! He simplified all my behavioural and emotional patterns so I could understand what was happening and I immediately felt less overwhelmed and inspired to work on it. Of course it’s not a magic pill but with time I was able to get to know my true self and let go of what was not serving me. It really fit for me and so I started studying the course myself after a couple of appointments….In Russia security is much more important than doing something you love, in Australia though, you have the freedom to do follow your heart and do what feels right. Just one of the many reasons I love this country!”
While Natalia was studying, she met the man of her dreams. He was always very supportive of her endeavours, especially as he himself had been having Kinesiology too, so he understood the modality. 5 weeks into their relationship he was sadly diagnosed with cancer. Another unfortunate dramatic turn of events, that had Natalia back in “nurturing mode” – A role that felt so familiar. This completely fast tracked their relationship. On top of the learning and growing Natalia had done up to this point, she finally had the tools to support her partner too… “I was using kinesiology to run the same pattern I had before”. They fell fast in love, and other than the obvious diagnosis, their relationship was all good & felt healthy. “I was finally able to be myself for the first time. I felt accepted and valued and this time it was “different”. We got married and were together for 4 years….when boom, he walked out of my life completely out of the blue. I just couldn’t see it coming and neither did any of our friends or family.
From knowing to feeling
“He did exactly what I feared the most. I felt completely abandoned. I thought I was fixed and I thought he was perfect… How was it even possible that this had happened? I had done the work but I realised I still had a lot of work to do and I knew what to do next. It was time to feel. Sit and feel.”
Ironically Natalia had booked a retreat a few months BEFORE her then husband left, which was due to start 2 weeks AFTER he left. Coincidence? We think not. At this retreat, Natalia was ‘forced’ to meditate for 8-10 hours each day, so she had no choice but to sit with the pain. “I felt like I was literally being stabbed in the heart. The pain was unlike anything I’ve felt and sitting with it, with no escape honestly felt like insanity for the first 2 days”. On day 3 Natalia was literally filled with overwhelming love for everything existing – including the ex husband and despite the pain. “Because pain and love come from the same place. If we avoid pain we end up practically locking it in and disconnect from love as well. It’s crazy to think that it is possible to feel the depths of pain and so much love at the same time… pure unconditional love”.
It’s fair to say this was Natalia’s life changing & fast introduction to meditation. From there she was meditating and doing breathwork daily. Connecting back to that same feeling of love, “you need to keep connecting back to it and truly feeling it for it to stay accessible.”
“Through meditation and connecting to my heart I was able to practise self compassion. This allowed me to begin to let go of self critical talk and find peace. I was able to reflect on my divorce with gratitude and learn the lessons from it. Today I am at a place where self-love is weaved in everything I do in everyday life. That includes self talk, inner child relationships, breathing, moving and communicating. It has allowed me the freedom to choose how to respond to life and not react.”
“I am now able to use my own experiences and wisdom coupled with all the knowledge I gained from different modalities and teachings to help people with personal discovery, development and healing. Within my practice of being a kinesiologist I am learning every day. One thing that is so common among a lot of people is the disconnect from who they truly are and the limiting beliefs that are keeping them stuck and not feeling like they are enough… It is extremely gratifying to witness an “aha moment” my clients have, when they realise what patterns are running their life and what is possible if they let it go. I love helping people understand that they do in fact create their life, they have a choice of how to feel and how to show up for others and most importantly themselves”
“Self-love, compassion, confidence, deep intrinsic self-worth, building healthy boundaries and a complete freedom of being yourself are the main things that define how happy we are in life. But what it takes is the experience, not only the knowledge. Once you felt it, you will never forget or go back”.